YES, I was a young Mum and NO, you cannot judge me

YES, I was a young mum and NO, you cannot judge me…

I was so grateful when the beautiful, Maya over @allthingspink21 reached out to me about doing a guest post regarding labels and stereotypes, which are associated with young mums. This is a topic so close to my heart because I became a mum at 19, and have experienced this far too often.

My name is Jen, I am 28 and I have a daughter called Kourtney who turns 9 next month. Over the years I have experienced judgement, and different people have stereotyped me in different ways. I got pregnant at 18 and straight away, I was subjected to sneering remarks and outrageous comments, despite the fact that I continued with my A levels and was in part-time employment.  Unfortunately, even my own mother thought I was about to ruin my life, and that having a child so young would be a hindrance. I cannot tell you how much this broke me at the time, to know that my own mother lacked faith in me and put a label on my future.
I was very young and do not get me wrong, I had no idea how hard it was really going to be when I became a mother. However, I realised a long time ago that no matter what age you are when you have a baby, it is always going to be hard especially the first time round – so why is it only young people must be judged for having a baby? I think it is so unfair to assume that once you have a baby young, it automatically means your life and career is over. It could not be any further from the truth, as I have always been hardworking, ambitious and committed to bettering myself.
A couple of years ago, I remember I was at a festival with a couple of friends and I bumped into someone I went school with. The first thing they said was ‘wow.’ I looked puzzled, and she went onto explain that she could not believe how well I looked because I had a child. I was so shocked and I remember it putting me in a foul mood. How ignorant and stupid? I had a baby at 18, so she expected me to be scruffy; perhaps I should not have had clothes on my back because obviously, when you are a young mother you have no money, right?


I genuinely would have thought that as you get older, the judgement would stop, but this has not been the case for me.  Most recently at my daughter’s primary school, I felt belittled and patronised by members of staff that often resulted in me feeling upset and irritated. I often felt like I was treated as a child as opposed to a mother, which left me reeling because I did not behave like one. I take my daughter’s education and development very seriously, and whenever I raised a concern, I was undermined or ignored. I would witness how staff interacted with the older parents; I saw a difference with how they treated me. Eventually, it took a toll on the relationship between the school and myself; which has resulted in my daughter starting a new school this month. This situation in particular demonstrates how labelling and stereotyping can have a serious impact on someone’s life, and cause drastic change.


Unfortunately, at work there have been colleagues that have made outrageous remarks in regards to me being a teenage mother, which I have learnt to ignore. They have laughed and said silly things like ‘did you stroll your pram through Pound land, shouting like a chav?’ or ‘Did you have a baby for a council flat and benefits?’ It really says more about their small minds than me, as I am at work just like them irrespective of having a child. It really is shocking to know that some people believe you cannot live the life you want just because you have a child – what a load of garbage! I work full-time, I have a car and I am saving to buy a house, I cannot and will not be stopped. The way I see it, we all have one life and it is down to every individual how they intend to live it.
Despite the judgements, labels and stereotypes, I graduated from university with a 2:1 and currently work full-time in corporate services. Am I where I want to be? No, but I am proud and happy of the progress I have made so far. Yes, it may take me a little longer or my journey may not be as easy because my child is my first priority, but I have no doubt in my mind that I will conquer my dreams. I love my daughter, she is my greatest achievement and biggest blessing and I would do it all over again, if I had to.  I have not yet launched my blog, however I am over on Twitter (@LifeMilk2016) and Instagram (Lifemilk_) so please get in touch, if you would like to know more or want to share your story.





  1. September 7, 2017 / 4:54 pm

    Loved this post! She's adorable xxx

  2. September 7, 2017 / 5:20 pm

    Aw omg! this is so cute. Embrace the fact that you are a young mum and don't listen to what anyone else has to say! x

  3. September 8, 2017 / 1:14 pm

    You should be respected not judged for your decisions. Thanks for sharing such a personal post. 🙂

  4. Jetta
    October 8, 2017 / 1:04 pm

    I became a teenage mom at barely 17. I currently have a startling beautiful, unnervingly witty, deeply compassionate, highly intelligent, morally centered, and tender hearted 14 year old girl. Her insight, sense of humor and overall character make me beam with pride. I guess despite our incompetencies and sad, fallen existences us single teenage Mommies can do ok. (You’re sensing my sarcasm, right??) As for me, do you consider two college degrees (graduated top of my class), my RN license (passed on the first try, minimum number of questions) , and a certification in the specialty of rehab nursing (again, passed on the first try) failure to achieve my goals or evidence of my age as a mother inhibiting my success? On the contrary, my daughter was my primary motivation for all my accomplishments. I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am without the blessing of her life. The best rebuttals to comments born of thoughtless and ignorance are grace initially, success longterm and happiness always. Love your kids and do right by them. Everything else will fall into place.

    • allthingspink
      October 13, 2017 / 11:41 am

      I love this, thank you for sharing. I hate the stereotypes that surround young mums; but you and your daughter are most definitelyy proving them wrong.

      Maya x

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