With Love Charlotte

Dear Daughters of The World,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you how much I love you and your brother. Even though I didn’t grow you in my tummy, I still love you like you’re my own. You’re only nine and a half years old, but I consider you to be my best friend. I’m so grateful to your Mummy for bringing you and your brother into this world and to your Daddy, for letting me be a part of your family. I can’t imagine being without you!

It’s difficult being a step-mum. People warned me that it would be, but for different reasons. I never know the right things to say or do. When you asked me about periods, for example, I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t want to step on your Mummy’s toes or tell you something she wasn’t ready for you to know. Personally, I think you’re old enough to know, but it’s not my decision to make.

Although it broke my heart, when you called me “Mummy” I had to tell you not to. It wasn’t because I didn’t want you too but because I knew that if I had a little girl of my own and she wanted to call someone else “Mummy” it would hurt me. Maybe you called me “Mummy” because you want us to feel like a family when we’re together and it’s just your way of coping. If that’s the case then I know how you feel. You might not have noticed, but I had tears in my eyes when I said “You shouldn’t call me that, it might hurt your real Mummy’s feelings”. Maybe I should have let you? Would your Mummy have considered my feelings the way I consider hers? To be honest, part of me wishes I did let you. Sometimes I feel sad because you guys aren’t my babies and I feel like an outsider. Like I said, it’s hard to know what the right choices are sometimes.

I’m only 23 and all of my friends spend their weekends going to night clubs and drinking alcohol, but I spend every other weekend with you and your brother. It’s not because I have to but because I choose to. We have so much fun together, don’t we? Playing games, baking cakes and hanging out. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I even like to help you with your homework and I feel a sense of pride when I teach you something new. People often feel sorry for me, like I’m burdened in some way, and they ask my why I bother going with your Daddy to see you instead of going out and having fun. They don’t understand that it makes me happy to spend time with you; you bring me so much joy. I miss you when I’m not with you. You’ll learn one day, like I have, to ignore what other people say or what’s normal in our society. You have to do what makes you happy!

I have never been this honest with you before. Of course, I tell you that I love you all the time and I know you love me too. I think if I told you all of this now, you probably wouldn’t understand. Maybe one day, when you’re older, I’ll let you read this letter and it will tighten the bond we already have even further. But for now, all I’ll do is continue to try and make you happy, teach you how to be a good person and show you as much love as I can.

Love from,

Charlotte

 

You can read more of Charlotte’s beautiful writing over on her blog Views of Venus

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